is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
