These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
