If i come over, it means nothing
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
