Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
