you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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