ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
