my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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