naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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