you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
