How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
