"it" just moved
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
