Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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