Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
