suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
