Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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