I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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