Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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