Where did you get a picture of my penis
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
