my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
