your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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