Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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