ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
