wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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