I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
