so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
