Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
this boner is exhausting
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
