There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
