so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
