I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
