Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
