So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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