Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
porn star boner night. come get it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
