ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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