My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
