We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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