I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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