Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
