BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
