Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
