Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
