i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
