my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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