that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
