If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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