I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
two words...techno handjob
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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