I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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