i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
