idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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