I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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