the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
