are you so shy because you have an std?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
is wine microwaveable?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
