So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
