On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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