what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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