between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
