Ambien. No doubt about it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
