quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
