after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
