it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
