therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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