Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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