trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
