Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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