i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I got inside last night via doggy door
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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