I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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