So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
