when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I need to align my fucking chakras
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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