what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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