wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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